アウトピスタ ♥ Autopisuta ♥ Highway

ごめんね　僕は戻れない

gomen ne boku wa modorenai

Sorry, I can't come back,

受話器を置いて呟いた

juwaki o oite tsubuyaita

I put the phone down and muttered.

悲しい程　綺麗な部屋

kanashii hodo kirei na heya

Even leaving footprints in a clean room

足跡がつくのも嫌なんだ

ashiato ga tsuku no mo iya na n da

feels so awful it makes me sad.

夜も深い高速道

yoru mo fukai kōsokudō

At night on a long highway

オレンジに染まるその一路の

orenji ni somaru sono ichiro no

tail lamps staining the lane orange

奥に伸びる　テールランプ

oku ni nobiru tēruranpu

stretch into the distance.

その夢を今日もまた見るだろう

sono yume o kyō mo mata miru darō

I'll probably have that dream today again.

昔　喉に痞えた鱚の骨

mukashi nodo ni tsukaeta kisu no hone

My throat sore from a cold recalled

風邪で痛んだ喉が思い出した

kaze de itanda nodo ga omoidashita

how once I had a fish bone stuck in my throat.

箸を捨てて　逃げたかった

hashi o sutete nigetakatta

I can hear my voice from that day,

あの日の僕の声が聴こえる

ano hi no boku no koe ga kikoeru

wanting to drop my chopsticks and run.

嫌だなんて言えなかった

iya da nante ienakatta

Unable to say how unpleasant it was,

あの日の僕の声が聴こえる

ano hi no boku no koe ga kikoeru

I can hear my voice from that day.

歪んだ恋の捨て方が

yuganda koi no sutekata ga

Even at my age, I don't know

この歳になってもわからない

kono toshi ni natte mo wakaranai

how to abandon a romance gone awry.

当たり前の　生き方すら

atarimae no ikikata sura

Even ordinary life

僕の身体からだには重たすぎた

boku no karada ni wa omotasugita

has weighed heavily on my body.

心の弱い人間に

kokoro no yowai ningen ni

There are gods who exploit

つけ込む神様はいるけれど

tsukekomu kamisama wa iru keredo

faint-hearted human beings,

苦しい夜の越え方は

kurushii yoru no koekata wa

but even if you raise your hands, they don't tell you

手を挙げても教えてくれない

te o agete mo oshiete kurenai

how to get through a painful night.

冷たい床　震える鼻

tsumetai yuka furueru hana

A cold floor, a trembling nose,

大きくて寂しい夜が来る

ōkikute sabishii yoru ga kuru

a long, lonely night approaches.

やけに暖かく感じた

yakeni atatakaku kanjita

The room that felt awfully warm

部屋の温度はいつもと同じ

heya no ondo wa itsumo to onaji

has the same temperature as usual.

洗面台　覗く顔の

senmendai nozoku kao no

When I peered at my face at the washbasin,

あからさまな赤さに笑った

akarasama na akasa ni waratta

I smiled at the frank flush of red.

人が願う夢はいつも少し

hito ga negau yume wa itsumo sukoshi

They say people's dreams come true

満たされない形で叶うんだと

mitasarenai katachi de kanau n da to

never quite taking the form they wished for.

目を逸らした　鏡の奥

me o sorashita kagami no oku

When I looked away, inside the mirror

卑しく誰かが僕を呪う

iyashiku dareka ga boku o norou

someone's cursing me with disdain.

馬鹿になって　随分経つ

baka ni natte zuibun tatsu

I've been an idiot for too long.

蛍光灯が低く唸った

keikōtō ga hikuku unatta

The fluorescent lights buzzed faintly.

不完全に舗装された

fukanzen ni hosō sareta

I've gotten too accustomed to the shaking

道路の揺れに慣れすぎたから

dōro no yure ni naresugita kara

on an imperfectly paved street,

夢の中で走る道の

yume no naka de hashiru michi no

so that the road I travel in my dream

平たさが僕を狂わせてく

hiratasa ga boku o kuruwasete'ku

is so even that it drives me crazy.

人に認められることも

hito ni mitomerareru koto mo

Being scared both of people accepting me

認められないことも怖くて

mitomerarenai koto mo kowakute

and not accepting me,

自分を指す座標点が

jibun o sasu zahyōten ga

I don't even know where

どこにあるのかすら　わからない

doko ni aru no ka sura wakaranai

the coordinate points lie that point to myself.

書いては消し　歪んでゆく

kaite wa keshi yugande iku

Am I the blackness on the paper

紙の黒ずみが僕なのかな

kami no kurozumi ga boku na no ka na

that warps from from writing and erasing?

平行線上　等間隔に

heikō senjō tōkankaku ni

I count the number of lights dawdling

佇むライトの数を数えて

tatazumu raito no kazu o kazoete

in equally spaced parallel lines,

5728まで　数えたところで

gozen-nanahyaku-nijū-hachi made kazoeta tokoro de

and the moment I reached 5728,

途端　目が覚めては

totan me ga samete wa

I opened my eyes to find

また　頬が濡れている

mata hoo ga nurete iru

my cheeks wet again.

歪んだ恋の正体は

yuganda koi no shōtai wa

What a romance gone awry really looks like

幼い頃の僕が知ってる

osanai koro no boku ga shitte'ru

my younger self already discovered.

苦しむ度　忘れすぎて

kurushimu tabi wasuresugite

Every time I suffer, I forget too easily

思い出せなくなってしまった

omoidasenaku natte shimatta

and end up unable to remember.

胸に咲いた言葉の花

mune ni saita kotoba no hana

The words that blossomed like flowers in my chest,

優しさと罪とテールランプ

yasashisa to tsumi to tēruranpu

kindness and wrongdoing and tail lamps.

まとわりつく　すべての色

matowaritsuku subete no iro

All the colours that cling to me,

それだけが僕を動かしてる

sore dake ga boku o ugokashite'ru

they're the only thing that keeps me going.

僕はたぶん　それだけでいい

boku wa tabun sore dake de ii

That's probably enough for me.

それで誰かを愛せるならば

sorede dareka o aiseru naraba

So then, if I could get to love someone ...