Who I was , and who I am

『昨日の自分なんて嫌い　

'kinō no jibun nante kirai

'I can't stand yesterday's me.

今日の自分はもっと嫌い

kyō no jibun wa motto kirai

I can stand today's me even less.

何をするにも　もうやる気なんて出ない

nani o suru ni mo mō yaruki nante denai

I don't have the will to do anything anymore.

物憂げなのは天気のせい？　

monouge na no wa tenki no sei?

Is this melancholy the weather's fault?

紛うことなく　ただ僕のせい

magau koto naku tada boku no sei

Without a doubt it's all my fault.

あぁもう嫌になっちゃうな

ā mō iya ni natchau na

Ah I can't stand it anymore.

どこまで僕は堕ちてくのかな　

doko made boku wa ochite'ku no ka na

How far have I descended

底知れぬ闇の中へ

sokoshirenu yami no naka e

into this bottomless darkness?

なんだか「なんで？」なんて　

nandaka "nande?" nante

Somehow unable to think about

もう考えられなくて

mō kangaerarenakute

asking "why?" anymore,

崩れていく自我のカケラ

kuzurete iku jiga no kakera

my self crumbles into fragments.

苦しくてやりきれなくなって　

kurushikute yarikirenaku natte

Life has gotten so hard and painful

張り裂けてしまいそう

harisakete shimaisō

that it feels like I'll tear apart.

投げ出さないでなんて　

nagedasanaide nante

When I was made to hear,

そう聞かされたところで

sō kikasareta tokoro de

"Don't throw it all away,"

何も響かない　ひたすらに虚しいだけ

nani mo hibikanai hitasura ni munashii dake

I heard nothing; everything felt futile.

生きていることの理由さえ　

ikite iru koto no riyū sae

Without even knowing why I'm alive,

わからないまま虫を押さえ

wakaranai mama mushi o osae

I control my feelings,

何度続ければいいのかな

nando tsuzukereba ii no ka na

but how often shall I keep doing this?

どこにもこれじゃ行けないのかな　

doko ni mo kore ja ikenai no ka na

Does this situation lead nowhere?

このままもう終わりにしちゃえ』

kono mama mō owari ni shichae'

Time to put an end to it.'

自分の理想に縛られすぎて　

jibun no risō ni shibararesugite

Being too restricted by my own ideals

周りが全く見えなくなって

mawari ga mattaku mienaku natte

I completely lost sight of what's around me.

どうしようもなくなって　

dō shiyō mo naku natte

When I became helpless

塞ぎ込んでいた時に　

fusagikonde ita toki ni

and felt really low,

君の声が胸を射た

kimi no koe ga mune o ita

your voice captured by heart.

「なんで？」なんて言わなくていい？　

"nande?" nante iwanakute ii?

Can I stop asking, "Why?"?

―そのままでいいんだよ

—sono mama de ii n da yo

—You're fine the way you are, you know.

懺悔なんてしなくてもいい？　

zange nante shinakute mo ii?

Can I stop confessing my wrongs?

―ありのままの君でも

—arinomama no kimi de mo

—The real you is fine.

泣いてないで、耐えなくていい？

naite'naide taenakute ii?

Can I stop holding back the tears?

―泣いたっていいんだよ　

—naitatte ii n da yo

—It's OK to cry, you know.

嫌いだなんて責めなくていい？　

kirai da nante semenakute ii?

Can I stop criticizing myself for being awful?

―そのままの君が好きだよ

—sono mama no kimi ga suki da yo

—I love you just as you are.

時計が tick-tack 少しずつ動き出して　

tokei ga tick-tack sukoshi zutsu ugokidashite

The clock gradually starts ticking,

よみがえる自我のカケラ

yomigaeru jiga no kakera

reviving the fragments of my self.

苦しくてやりきれなくたって　

kurushikute yarikirenakutatte

For even if life is too hard and painful,

僕はまだ生きているんだ

boku wa mada ikite iru n da

I'm still alive.

逃げ出さないでなんて　

nigedasanaide nante

I can stop thinking about

もう考えなくていい

mō kangaenakute ii

not running away anymore.

これでいいんだ　

kore de ii n da

It's fine now.

僕は今、一人じゃない

boku wa ima, hitori ja nai

Now, I'm not alone.