理系女子は笑わない ♥ Rikei Joshi wa Warawanai ♥ The Straight-Faced Science Girl

Warning: Sexually suggestive

君は理科が得意な女の子

kimi wa rika ga tokui na onna no ko

You're a girl whose specialty is science,

いつも実験ばかりをしていて

itsumo jikken bakari o shite ite

always doing nothing but experiments.

君は白衣が似合う女の子

kimi wa hakui ga niau onna no ko

You're a girl whose lab coat suits you perfectly,

いつも顕微鏡を眺めていて

itsumo kenbikyō o nagamete ite

always staring down a microscope.

君は嘘が得意な女の子

kimi wa uso ga tokui na onna no ko

You're a girl who's a good liar,

いつも先生をダマシ回って

itsumo sensei o damashimawatte

always sweet-talking the teachers.

君は孤独を愛す女の子

kimi wa kodoku o aisu onna no ko

You're a girl who loves solitude,

いつも一人で空を見上げてて

itsumo hitori de sora o miagetete

always looking up at the sky by yourself.

模擬テスト　五点　の僕でも

mogi tesuto goten no boku demo

I only got 5 points on the practice test,

分かってるんだ

wakatte'ru n da

yet I know for a fact,

あの子はきっと　淫乱偏光フィルターだ

ano ko wa kitto inran henkō firutā da

that girl is a lewd filter for polarized light for sure.

僕のアルコールランプ燃やして

boku no arukōru ranpu moyashite

Light my alcohol lamp

それをマイクロピペットで分けて

sore o maikuro pipetto de wakete

and distribute it with my micropipette.

僕のエバポレーター飛んでけ

boku no ebaporeetaa tonde'ke

Let my evaporator fly off

それをファラデーカップで掴んで

sore o faradē kappu de tsukande

and hold it with a Faraday cup.

君の気体検知機濡らして

kimi no kitai kenchiki nurashite

Moisten your gas detector

それをマントルヒーターで溶かせ

sore o mantoru hītā de tokase

Melt it with your heating mantle

君の乳鉢をもっと廻して

kimi no nyūbachi o motto mawashite

Spin your mortar some more

それを真空ポンプに注いで

sore o shinkū ponpu ni sosoide

Pour it into your vacuum pump

それでも理系女子は笑わない

soredemo rikeijoshi wa warawanai

Yet even with that, the science girl doesn't even smile.

世界で一番愛しています。

sekai de ichiban aishite imasu.

"I love you the most in the world,"

そんな胡散臭い事　言えない

sonna usankusai koto ienai

I can't say such a shady thing.

元素記号でそれを伝えたら

gensokigō de sore o tsutaetara

If I were to communicate this using chemical formulas,

きっと馬鹿にされてしまうのでしょう

kitto baka ni sarete shimau no deshō

I'd most likely be called an idiot.

携帯番号　教えてください

keitai bangō oshiete kudasai

"Please tell me your phone number,"

そんな勇気も度胸もありません。

sonna yūki mo dokyō mo arimasen.

I don't have enough courage or guts to ask.

僕を実験台にしてください

boku o jikkendai ni shite kudasai

Please put me on your lab bench.

（それなら今すぐ服を脱いでね）

(sore nara ima sugu fuku o nuide ne)

(In that case, take your clothes off straight away.)

（そんなに焦らさないでね

(sonna ni jirasanaide ne

(Don't keep me hanging on like that okay?

そんな照れずに

sonna terezu ni

If you're gonna get naked

裸になったなら

hadaka ni natta nara

without any embarrassment,

東尋坊から飛び降りて）

tōjinbō kara tobiorite)

then jump off one of Tōjinbō's cliffs...)

（今すぐに！）

(ima sugu ni!)

(...at once!)

馬鹿は絶対風邪を引かないと

baka wa zettai kaze o hikanai to

"An idiot would absolutely catch a cold."

誰がそんなことを決めつけた？

dare ga sonna koto o kimetsuketa?

Who decided such a thing?

冷たい波風に誘われ

tsumetai namikaze ni sasoware

Induced by cold wind and waves,

鼻水が止まらないんです。

hanamizu ga tomaranai ndesu.

my nose won't stop running.

例えモルモットだと呼ばれても

tatoe morumotto da to yobarete mo

Even if I get called a guinea pig.

例え実験道具になっても

tatoe jikken dōgu ni natte mo

Even if I get used as a piece of experimental apparatus.

ここに台風が飛んできても

koko ni taifū ga tonde kite mo

Even if a typhoon flies here.

蝙蝠傘で迎えにいくから

kōmorigasa de mukae ni iku kara

Because I'd still go welcome you with an umbrella.

それでも理系女子は振り向かない

soredemo rikei joshi wa furimukanai

Yet the science girl doesn't turn to look at me.

世界に一つだけの花は

sekai ni hitotsu dake no hana wa

A single flower in the world

一人　一人　違う種を持つ

hitori hitori chigau tane o motsu

alone, alone, holds a different seed.

その花咲かせることだけに

sono hana sakaseru koto dake ni

I hope you'll focus your utmost

一生懸命になればいいと

isshōkenmei ni nareba ii to

on making that flower bloom.

誰かがそう言っていたから

dareka ga sō itte ita kara

Because someone said so,

僕は君に種を撒こう

boku wa kimi ni tane o makō

I'll sow you some the seeds.

その花を咲かせることだけに

sono hana o sakaseru koto dake ni

I'll do my utmost

一生懸命になりましょう

isshōkenmei ni narimashō

to make that flower bloom.

手枷を付け首輪も付けて

tekase o tsuke kubiwa mo tsukete

If I were to handcuff you, plus attach a collar to you,

ロープで縛って

rōpu de shibatte

and tie you with a rope

目隠ししたら

mekakushi shitara

and blindfold you,

３回回ってワンと鳴け

sankai mawatte wan to nake

then turn around 3 times and give me a bark.

僕のアルコールランプ燃やして

boku no arukōru ranpu moyashite

Light my alcohol lamp

それをマイクロピペットで分けて

sore o maikuro pipetto de wakete

and distribute it with my micropipette.

僕のエバポレーター飛んでけ

boku no ebaporeetaa tonde'ke

Let my evaporator fly off

それをファラデーカップで掴んで

sore o faradē kappu de tsukande

and hold it with a Faraday cup.

ありふれた感情を抱えて

arifureta kanjō o kakaete

I've gone through these commonplace feelings

地球儀と一緒に回った

chikyūgi to issho ni mawatta

while I spun around with a globe of the earth.

言葉では表せないような

kotoba de wa arawasenai yō na

I got smothered in a mysterious euphoria

謎の幸福感に包まれた

nazo no kōfukukan ni tsutsumareta

that I can't express in words.

解かせ　液体窒素に塗れて

tokase ekitai chisso ni mamirete

Melt it, smearing it in liquid nitrogen,

その気持ちを解明させてよ

sono kimochi o kaimei sasete yo

Let me clarify that feeling.

言葉では表せないのならば

kotoba dewa arawasenai no naraba

If it can't be expressed in words,

その心理を証明させてよ

sono shinri o shōmei sasete yo

let me prove the psychology behind it.

これで気体検知機濡らして

kore de kitai kenchiki nurashite

With that, I moistened my gas detector

それをマントルヒーターで溶かし

sore o mantoru hītā de tokashi

and melted it with my heating mantle,

そして乳鉢をもっと廻して

soshite nyūbachi o motto mawashite

and then I spun my mortar some more

それを真空ポンプに注いだ

sore o shinkū ponpu ni sosoida

and poured it into my vacuum pump.

そしたら　理系女子は　笑ったよ。

soshitara rikeijoshi wa waratta yo.

That's when the science girl really did smile.